EU individual paragraph

 Brainstorming:

 

Topic Sentence: how does EU affect us?

Main Part:

• freedom to travel: possible to travel through EU countries without passport (Schengen Agreement, Schengen countries) - which countries?
• possible to live in other EU countries (residence permit)
• work in EU countries (work permit)

Concluding Sentence: "summary" of paragraph: EU important, affects everyday life

 

1st Paragraph:

 

The EU is an economic and political union that affects our everyday life in different ways.  Due to the Schengen Agreement, the EU makes it possible to travel through many European countries without showing the national ID-card or passport. Apart from Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Ireland, Romania and the United Kingdom, all other 22 EU-states are part of the Schengen area. Another point why the EU affects us is that each European citizen has the permission to live in another EU country. If you, as an EU national, have lived in another EU country for more than five years, you can stay there as long as you want, as you receive a permanent residence permit. However, it is not only important for us that we are able to travel to or live in other EU countries, but also that we may work there. Everybody who wants to work abroad is able to do so, as within the EU a working permit normally is not required. It is to say that the EU is certainly very important and definitely affects every one of us.

[182]

 

 

Feedback:

• Topic Sentence is okay
• I used the word "as" too often:  If you, as an EU national, have lived in another EU country for more than five years, you can stay there as long as you want, as you receive a permanent residence permit. better version: If you, as an EU national, have lived in another EU country for more than five years, you can stay there as long as you want, since you receive a permanent residence permit.
• not working permit, but work Permit

2nd Paragraph:

The EU is an economic and political union that affects our everyday life in different ways. Due to the Schengen Agreement, the EU makes it possible to travel through many European countries without showing the national ID-card or passport. Apart from Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Ireland, Romania and the United Kingdom, all other 22 EU-states are part of the Schengen area. Another point why the EU affects us is that each European citizen has the permission to live in another EU country. If you, as an EU national, have lived in another EU country for more than five years, you can stay there as long as you want, since you receive a permanent residence permit. However, it is not only important for us that we are able to travel to or live in other EU countries, but also that we may work there. Everybody who wants to work abroad is able to do so, as within the EU a work permit normally is not required. It is to say that the EU is certainly very important and definitely affects every one of us.  

 

 

Feedback:

 

• not the EU makes it possible, but it is possible
• not work Permit, but working papers
• concluding sentence: without very

 

 

3rd Paragraph:

 

The EU is an economic and political union that affects our everyday life in different ways. Due to the Schengen Agreement, it is possible to travel through many European countries without showing the national ID-card or passport. Apart from Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Ireland, Romania and the United Kingdom, all other 22 EU-states are part of the Schengen area. Another point why the EU affects us is that each European citizen has the permission to live in another EU country. If you, as an EU national, have lived in another EU country for more than five years, you can stay there as long as you want, since you receive a permanent residence permit. However, it is not only important for us that we are able to travel to or live in other EU countries, but also that we may work there. Everybody who wants to work abroad is able to do so, as within the EU a working papers normally is not required. It is to say that the EU is certainly important and definitely affects every one of us. 

 

 

Corrected Version:

 

The EU is an economic and political union that affects our everday lives in different ways. Due to the Schengen Agreement, it is possible to travel to many European countries without showing a national ID-Card or passport. This is, however, not the case for all EU countries. Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Ireland, Romania and the United Kingdom are for instance, not part of the Schengen area. Not only the freedom of movement is a term how the EU affects us, but also the fact that each European citizen is permitted to live in another EU country. If you, as an EU national, have lived in another EU state for more than five years, you can stay there as long as you want since you are entitled to receive a permanent residence permit.